There once was a little
boy who had a bad temper.
His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.
The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.
Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, ‘You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence.
The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger,
they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and
draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound
is still there.’
A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are a very rare jewel indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, share words of praise and always want to open their hearts to us.
If we are not careful we can go
from anger to furious rage, to violence ending in revenge. We have too
many people sitting in prisons and juvenile centers because they could not
control their anger.
We need to work hard on self-control on a daily basis and to handle situations as Christ would want us to with love, and kindness trying to understand both sides of a problem.
Believe it or not, WE might just not be the one who is right! And that might be a hard pill for us to swallow. Is it easy? No. But with God’s help and good Christian friends around to help, we can do it!
"Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath" (James 1:15)
In learning to control our anger, we will find that we will draw people to us; not send them away. If we learn to control our tongues, we will keep those friendships alive and healthy. "A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24)
As Christians, we try very hard to be Christ-like and not hurt others and to set the proper example. We are not perfect; we are human and we will fall and make mistakes. It will take work on our part. In learning to practice self-control, we will become stronger: "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it" (I Corinthians 10:13)
In the book of Proverbs, we find the value of words: "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver" (Proverbs 25:11)
Words have the power to encourage, build, praise, reveal love and heal. The wrong words spoken can destroy, conquer, tear apart, and remain forever–hard to take back, remembered by the injured person.
The next time anger strikes, try some of these suggestions:
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Take some slow breaths and work hard on "thinking" before we speak
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Make ourselves count to ten if we are beyond control and leave the room if necessary
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Tell the person we’ll come back when we have cooled down
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Make a conscious decision to talk about it with the other person -- later that same day
If there is still a problem -- take an impartial person to listen to both sides of the conflict. Above all else - think! Actions done in haste can lead to disaster if one is not careful!
Envision how we would like someone to handle the situation if it were US they were angry with? "And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise" (Luke 6:31)
Too many times, we think it is silly to "think before we speak" or "too much trouble." But in the long run, how long it will take to undo the damage done by words spoken in anger without thinking about what was being said. When we are angry, we usually try to hurt - not solve. We are worried about SELF!
We need to surround ourselves with people who are positive and encouraging. Do not be afraid or too proud to ask for help if there is a problem with anger that is continuously getting one into trouble.
Above all else, remember, our Father in heaven can walk with us if we are trying to live the Christian life. By reading His word and praying daily we can learn to practice self-control.
Take one day at a time, trying to do better than the day before. If we slip, try again, and again. Soon we will overcome. Don’t be Satan’s tool – be God’s.