Good News For Youth (GNFY) published under the oversight of the Alkire Rd Church of Christ elders and posted by permission of the editor.
Common Sense lived a long life but died from heart failure at the brink of
the millennium. No one really knows how old he was since his birth records were
long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He selflessly devoted his life to
service in schools, hospitals, homes, factories and offices, helping folks get
jobs done without fanfare and foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws
and frivolous lawsuits held no power over
Common Sense. He was credited with
cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain, the
early bird gets the worm, and life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the children), and it's okay to come in second. A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including feminism, body piercing, whole language and "new math." But his health declined when he became infected with the "If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus.
In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of overbearing federal regulation. He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers and enlightened auditors. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero tolerance policies, reports of six year old boys charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student. It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but cannot inform the parent when the female student is pregnant or wants an abortion.
Finally,
Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than
victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from Boy Scouts to
professional sports. As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic
but was kept informed of developments, regarding questionable regulations for
asbestos, low flow toilets, "smart" guns, the nurturing of Prohibition
Laws and mandatory air bags. Finally, when told the homeowners association
restricted exterior furniture only to that which enhanced property values, he
breathed his last breath.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers: Rights, Tolerance and Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
-- J. Marlon Finley, August 2001 --
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